love it, love it, love it

I sit here on the stairs
And listen to the night time as the daylight fades away
Such a haunting and familiar tune
when I hear it in the distance I could say
that I'm home

Massachusetts
Where my daughters and my wife they wait for me
All alone
But the truth is
It's where I always am, it's where I long to be
Because I'm home

The north shore is where my father lives
I wear my Red Sox hat around the world with pride
But the Berkshires are where my heart is
And when I see them in the distance I could cry
Because I'm home

Massachusetts
Where my daughters and my wife they wait for me
And where my friends don't treat me different
Its where my family is, its where I'll always stay
Because I'm home


Massachusetts
Where my teacher teaches classes everyday
And where my friends don't treat me different
Its where my family is, its where I'll always stay
Because I'm home

oh man...

so it finally happened. I finally found peace of mind and closure with my marriage. I can honestly say that I am over my ex husband. a part of me is always going to love him and is always going to belong to him and miss him but Im over it. I can move on now. so of course you can imagine my sheer excitement when I find this really cute guy at church who is amazingly attractive in so many ways. but of course theres one small problem. I dont have the guts to talk to him. I spaz everytime I see him. it sucks. and to make things worse we've gotten into this game of staring at each other before, during and after service but never talking to each other. ever. I stare at him and then look away reall fast when he looks my direction. he stares at me and then looks away really fast when I catch him staring. normally I would actually find this cute cause Im wierd like that but its not cute this time. it reminds me of my ex husband. thats how we started out. he would stare at me from across the room in my science class my freshman year of high school. he would stare at in my class, in the halls, at lunch. it was nice. I felt so flattered that this guy, this SENIOR, was staring at me or better yet, that he found me interesting enough to stare at me. it took over a month before we finally talked to each other. 8 years later, here we are.


I dont want to take that long again. I want to find a man, a man of God. a man I can share my faith with and grow in Christ together with. I want to get married and have a Christian marriage and family. I just dont know how Im ever going to get there if I cant even talk to the cute boy at church! ugh.....this sucks.

Jeremy Christensen-Hallelujah

my friend jeremy singing one of my favorite songs.
this guy has the most amazing voice Ive heard in so long. hes is so amazingly talented! I cant wait to see him make it to the big times! :)

Parachute - She Is Love Acoustic Version

I've been beaten down, Ive been kicked around,
But she takes it all for me.
And I've lost my faith, in my darkest days,
But she makes me want to believe.

They call her love, love, love, love, love
They call her love, love, love, love, love
She is love, and she is all I need

Well I had my ways, they were all in vain,
But she waited patiently.
It was all the same, all my pride and shame,
And she put me on my feet.

They call her love, love, love, love, love
They call her love, love, love, love, love
They call her love, love, love, love, love
She is love, and she is all I need.

And when that world slows down, dear.
And when those stars burn out, here.
Oh she'll be there, yes she'll be there,
They call her love, love, love, love, love
They call her love, love, love, love, love
They call her love, love, love, love, love

She is love, she is all I need,
She is love, she is all I need,
She is love, she is all I need.

Kate Voegele Manhattan from the sky lyrics

.....its not fair

the very worst part of being in love with your best friend? theres no one to talk to when he breaks your heart. your completely on your own. theres no one to hold your hand or hug you while you cry. and its that much worse knowing that the only person who could make you feel better is the reason your such a mess.



Im falling apart and I have no one. as stupid, and childish as it sounds, its not fair. Im so tired of falling in love with men who dont love me back. I tired of giving the best of myself to someone who cant even see whats staring them in the face.


when am I going to get my happy ending? Im getting tired of waiting. it hurts too much.

patience

I wish you could see the way you look through my eyes
I wish you could see the comfort I find in your smile
I wish others could see you through my eyes
I wish they could feel the way I do when you walk into a room

I don’t think you realize just how much you mean to me
No matter what you say, the truth is you don’t have a clue.

I found something in you long ago, that Ive never found anywhere else
Something I don’t think I ever could find anyplace else.
I found my other half.

No one makes me feel the way you do.
I never feel quite as safe, quite as happy, quite as calm
I wish you knew how it feels when you’re near me.
Every ounce of tension, every bit of stress, melts away when I see your face
Breathing you in is all it takes.

I used to think his was the only scent that could intoxicate me
As with so many other things, I was wrong.
The smell of your skin, so close to mine, is the sweetest perfume I know

I wish you could see what I see when you walk into a room
I don’t see through you, I see right to your core

I know things no one else possibly could
I know how afraid you are of being hurt
I know that if given the chance you would never hurt me
Given the chance, you could be happy

I’m not sure when , but at some point in time I fell in love with you
Real love. True love.
The kind of love that even time would stop and be still for

You’re just as human as anyone
You make the same mistakes so many others have in human history
You need to learn your own way, just like the others
I don’t love you despite you imperfections, in fact I love you more for them

I wish you could see the way you look through my eyes
I wish you could see me the way I see you

I used to think I could wait a lifetime for that to happen
I was wrong

But as someone else once said, unfinished business always comes back to haunt you
Maybe one day, I’ll haunt you
It would only be fair
For you haunt me every day

You’re in my every thought, my every spoken word, my every movement
you are a fixed mark upon my heart.

I’m done
I’m done waiting for you to finally open your eyes and see
Every dream, every fleeting thought, every fleeting feeling of lightening
They were all right
They were all pointing to one thing

Me


I can only hope that one day I’ll haunt you the way you haunt me

Until then, I’ll keep loving you till it finally runs out just as my patience has.