so it finally happened. I finally found peace of mind and closure with my marriage. I can honestly say that I am over my ex husband. a part of me is always going to love him and is always going to belong to him and miss him but Im over it. I can move on now. so of course you can imagine my sheer excitement when I find this really cute guy at church who is amazingly attractive in so many ways. but of course theres one small problem. I dont have the guts to talk to him. I spaz everytime I see him. it sucks. and to make things worse we've gotten into this game of staring at each other before, during and after service but never talking to each other. ever. I stare at him and then look away reall fast when he looks my direction. he stares at me and then looks away really fast when I catch him staring. normally I would actually find this cute cause Im wierd like that but its not cute this time. it reminds me of my ex husband. thats how we started out. he would stare at me from across the room in my science class my freshman year of high school. he would stare at in my class, in the halls, at lunch. it was nice. I felt so flattered that this guy, this SENIOR, was staring at me or better yet, that he found me interesting enough to stare at me. it took over a month before we finally talked to each other. 8 years later, here we are.
I dont want to take that long again. I want to find a man, a man of God. a man I can share my faith with and grow in Christ together with. I want to get married and have a Christian marriage and family. I just dont know how Im ever going to get there if I cant even talk to the cute boy at church! ugh.....this sucks.
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